Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Mother

I feel like I need to introduce you to my mother. She wasn't the one doing the brainwashing. My parents had a rough marriage. They stayed together because my dad had control, and my mom believes in keeping promises to god. My mother is a saint. My mother is the reason I made it out of christianity and found happiness at such a young age. My mother la la la I hear beautiful music in my head when I say, "mother."

When I was eight-ish (it's hard to remember) I realized that I had a lot more fun shopping with my mother than I did at church. I experienced happiness most often when god was not involved. Like when I created something. I didn't feel like any outside source helped me. I felt like I thought about something and it made sense. I created it. No one gave me magic ideas. No one guided my hands, they were working just as well as they usually do. My eyesight was the same. God was not there when I was at my happiest.

I knew my mom wouldn't lie to me, so there MUST be this God. I spent a lot of time saying to myself, "If God is true, then that means..." If god really is true, then that means I really can only find happiness through him. Satan tricked me into having a happy childhood without god. Eventually the devil worked through my mother to give me true happiness.

Anyway, I'm eight in this story, remember? So I ask my mom why there are so many religions that all claim to be the only way to heaven, that all claim to worship the correct god? I don't remember her exact word but it was something like, "Only god can answer that." I very clearly remember her answer to my follow up question "How do you know non-denominational christianity is the right choice?" She very quickly and confidently replied, "I don't."

She went on to explain that there is no way to prove which religion is the right one. "Maybe they all take us to the same place and we are fighting for no reason. I chose christianity because it makes me happy. You might grow up and decide you believe something else."

"Would you still love me if I decided to be a mormon?" My mom laughed for a while and finally said, "I will love you no matter who you choose to be. I may feel sorry for you, but I'll love you."

She never told me what to think. She never ever made me feel stupid for asking a question. She is the opposite of my father in most every way. She knows I'm an atheist and she is very proud of me for finding the answers to my questions, finding people who think like me that I can love and be loved by, and for being happy. Most of all she's proud of me for finding happiness. Most of all I love her.


Anonymous said...

That is very sweet. Your mom sounds like a great woman.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. :)

Ishy said...

uh... thanks, anonymous person. I enjoy gravity, as well.