Saturday, January 19, 2008


Oh whoops, I forgot I already denied the holy spirit so I have to go to hell. It's the only thing that is unforgivable. Actually, if I'm going to be honest, I did it when I was eleven. I don't think I've ever told anyone this. I was sitting on my bed crying about how god lets kids starve in other parts of the world. I was angry at god, and had recently heard a sermon about the only thing that god does not forgive. I was really angry that no one had told me sooner. All this time there was one unforgivable thing that would send me to hell and no one had told me. I said in a whisper, "I deny that god exists." I felt happy for a while. Things made sense. Then it was Sunday and I asked a lot of people, "What if you say it but you don't mean it?" and I was told that it was best not to say it whether it only means you have to mean it or not.

I was also told everything in that last video by everyone I asked. I told them I believed in God, but they apparently thought I wasn't scared enough if I was asking these questions. I did still believe God existed, I was just so angry with him that I didn't want to spend eternity with him. I decided at eleven that I was happier to burn in hell, but I will continue to worship him just to show him how much better I was than him. I never changed my mind about that, but I also never, ever, ever told anyone.

Anyway it's all pointless to think about anymore. There are no gods. Not even one.