Satan probably tore up the streets made of gold. It was tacky anyway.

Okay, I never got anything but a shocked look from Christians as a child, but maybe someone can disprove me now.

You know how God doesn't show himself anymore? Uh... I was scared as a kid because I thought it was entirely possible that Satan finally took control of humanity and threw God in to Hell. How do you know you aren't all worshiping Satan? It would sure explain the absence of God all this time. I guess at any rate you want to worship whoever is in control of heaven so you can get your virgins and shit. What's God able to provide you with in hell? Uh-oh.

Now you still have the option to stop all this make-believe and join us over here in reality... Or you can take your chances with evil heaven.