Why Don't I Believe?

I don't believe because I enjoy living in reality.

I also enjoy the company of others who have made the choice to live in reality. They are far more free to think, have ideas, and embrace change.

Like every other major change in my life, when I seriously considered the possibility that there might not be a god, I made a few pro and con lists. This included one comparing theists to atheists. (at the time I made the list I believed there was a god). Unfortunately Atheist came out as more emotionally stable people. I'm not calling it black and white, my mom AND in-laws are happy Christians, but over all atheist scored higher in areas I was seriously struggling.

Most of all I wanted to be happy, and I couldn't as long as I was going to receive nothing but circular reasoning. That shit drives me crazy. CRAZY crazy. Christianity, for me, was like taking a bad birth control pill. My boss is taking some that expired YEARS ago and all of the sudden she is making no sense at all and appears to be powered only by emotion. It's creepy to watch when she used to be so calm and reasonable. It reminds me of how I felt as a Christian.

When God is the answer, it is much easier to bottle emotions up and not deal with them. I mean, get in a trance and feel a magic release, but it really doesn't leave until you learn what you need to from it. At least not for me. I don't know that I'm right at all, but I feel like I'm making a good guess here.

Sure, not all Christians are emotionally retarded, but I most definitely was, and a whole lot of other people around me were, too. Many church members seemed to have temporary and sharp feelings of bliss, but 98% of the time it's depression, just waiting for an answer from god instead of thinking and figuring things out for yourself. I even faked all that Christian joy, because in order to spread the word of God it's important that you appear to be happy.

Then I lied about feeling happy for many years so that I wouldn't be a bad Christian. What if you were the only Christian a person ever met and you were sad around them too often? That person might not be as open to hearing the word of God.

Raise your hands and say it with me now, "When we all raise our hands and sway back and forth with our eyes shut it puts us in a suggestive state."

This applies to every religion. They all do it. First you sing or dance, then you sit down to hear someone talk, then you sing again. How about instead of telling people what to think we start teaching people how to think for themselves?

Shit, every time I make a good point I remember a Bible verse that wins against my point. The bible sure did take care of the nasty problem of people who have other ideas about life. The Bible says they are fools, so they must be fools! It reminds me of Lisa Simpson in the creationism class, when Ralph said, "Now Lisa's the new Ralph" The smart person is the fool, and that is all I needed to hear years ago to think there's probably a better life out there for me. Far, far away from the people who call me a fool for doing what it takes to find happiness.

Oh, yeah, the list goes on. What with the lack of proof, etc. Whatever. Observing the people around me was enough to help me make the leap. The science education is just more cake on the cake.